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Confessions of a Habitual Maid of Honor

March 29, 2012

photo by Big Box Photo

Each wedding has a leading lady. This one however does not stand in the spotlight.  She is the bride’s right-hand woman. As the bride journeys through the excitement, the planning, the tie-breaker decision making, her Maid of Honor is available to help wherever needed.  A dear friend of mine has been Maid of Honor to several brides within the last year, so I wanted to have her share her stories to give a little insight into a very important role that we hear little about.

With the many decisions a bride has to make, one of the more exciting ones is sharing the news with her best friend. There is always one woman, or man, that has stood out in her life as someone that she loves and can count on. There are many creative ways brides ask their best friend to take on the role of Maid of Honor so I asked Angela what was the most memorable to her.


“The most memorable way I have been asked to be a Maid of Honor was by my sister. She asked me by writing me a poem about our relationship, and the last line said: So please stand by my side when I say ‘I Do’, for I wouldn’t be me without a sister like you! The poem was written inside a collage of pictures of us from recent years. It’s something I will hold on to for years to come.”


Whether they splurge and invite their bridesmaids out to dinner and uncork the champagne, present them all with mini bouquets or they meet each one-on-one and give a special gift with a simple note listing their wedding date, it’s such a special moment between them. All weddings are different, yet have similar occurrences or to-dos. As a wedding planner it is easy to see similarities. I asked Angela, as a Maid of Honor if she noticed any.


“I have seen that no matter how secure and confident a woman is, the moment she starts planning a wedding it all goes out the window. Every bride worries what other people are going to think of her wedding and the choices she makes.”


Just as a wedding planner is an important source of comfort and assurance, so is her Maid of Honor. There are a lot of little details that may become overwhelming to a bride, so a wonderful trait in a Maid of Honor is to be supportive and remind her that it is her special day, no one else’s. As we all know, there is a lot of hard work that goes into planning a wedding. As a Maid of Honor they are taking on a role with several responsibilities. I asked Angela, what was one of the hardest tasks she had to complete?


“The hardest incident I have had to work through is some of the bridesmaids not being supportive of the bride’s wishes. They sometimes had their own agenda and didn’t give the title of bridesmaid the respect it deserved. I had to stay in contact with them to make sure things that needed to be done were done. It added a little more to my plate than I expected.”


It is never a bad idea to mention to the bride that she should talk with her bridal party about what is expected upfront. This will definitely give the party an idea of their role before they make an incorrect assumption that may upset someone. Since helping our clients is always of utmost importance to us as wedding planners, I asked Angela if there was an instance where a planner contributed to make the role of Maid of Honor a little easier.


“A wedding planner helping the day of the wedding has made my job much easier. Being able to cater to and worry only about the bride, while knowing everything is being taken care of is fantastic!”


A Maid of Honor definitely spends a little more quality time with the bride the day of compared to her wedding planner, which shows both roles hold their importance. Now that Angela has played the role of Maid of Honor several times over, I wanted to know how she would treat her future Maid of Honor when it is her big day.


“After being a maid of honor I will make sure to be decisive for my own Maid of Honor.”


So, we agreed that choosing a person that knows you very well can be another great trait to keep in mind. From this, I can also conclude that when we, as wedding planners, have the opportunity to meet the Maid of Honor we should remember to extend our help to them too, when and if they need us. With these little tidbits of insight from an amazing Maid of Honor, it is definitely easy to see the role’s importance and how there are areas where we, as planners, can go above and beyond. Maid of Honors are hardworking and a great source throughout the entire event. I know I want them on my team when I work on each wedding.


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